So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
how can u be prego again
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
