with your own penis?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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