the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
