I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
