there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
