It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
