on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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