Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
