guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I did not marry a roomba.
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