i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
