thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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