Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
