Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
