How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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