If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
