Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
