Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
