Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize