We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
