He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
