Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Do vagina's smell?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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