My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
