Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
