yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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