If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
