Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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