i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
