Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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