how hairy? two words: wookie tits
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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