Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
