the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
