I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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