im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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