dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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