if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
