I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
