Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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