so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
