he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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