redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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