Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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