I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
