u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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