take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
