O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
