do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You pole danced in your parka.
sex in a hospital.. check
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
