Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
