i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
