i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
