Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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