How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
